I will always love you

My daughter Carmen Leona Reese was murdered on 14 Oct 07 at 17 years of age. To me she is my little girl who was very hurt her parent's military deployments to Iraq when she was even younger. She did become rebellious as most teens do any way, but her friend told me she was talking about needing to be home again just before she was murdered. Sometimes she'd just take off and I would get so upset because I was concerned for her safety. Her dad and I buried her the day before her 18th birthday, her brother next to us. I wrote to her: 22 Oct 07 "Carmen, Tody was your funeral - No words can describe how much I'm lost with you being gone - Carmen I had so many hopes for you so many plans yet for your life. Time seemed to move so slow today as it neared for us to say our good byes How do I say good bye to you? I wanted you before you were born - Your dad and I drove the cemetary & the hearst was there - I could not think of you being in there - Not my Carmen. Then your dad gently guided me to your site - your brother next to me. I prayed & prayed it would all stop, it's still some how a mistake. but everything kept going on....my Carmen is gone. I'm left with only your memories now. I have a difficult time accepting; actually thinking you are truly gone - to act, talk, eat, go on like you are not gone, please Carmen, let it not be so...You are my life - I breathed for you - your voice strengthened me - I would have gone to the ends of the earth for you, but now I had to put you in the earth - Tomorrow, I will go back to leave you, your birthday card - remind you that I love you - your dad is sorry he cannot be here - his dad also passed away. But your brother and I will be there. We all love you and always will.....Love Mom"