On my Mind

Carmen,

Today, I 'm a class which is rather bad. So instead I think of you. You are my place of peace and at the same time torment. I miss you more than I know how to handle. I cannot believe it has been 18months, 2 weeks and 1 day since you were taken from me. I cannot believe I some how still "made" it this long. Not having you is the most difficult journey I have had thrust on me. I pour over pictures of you and long to touch you again. My baby girl. I miss those beautiful eyes, hair and smile. I beg to no one but the air that you come back. Please come back. I am incomplete without you. My only refuge is your brother. He is my anchor and does not realize it. I will not tell him because I do not want him to bear a burden no one should have to bear. Of feeling like he has to carry me emotionally for the rest of my life. Only you and I will know. There is so much you give me the strength to do. You and your brother have always given me the strength to go on and do more than I could have ever accomplished on my own. Now the "hope" that one day our Lord will allow me to see and hold you again. Your voice is music to me and now that music is gone. Please me dear come to me in my dreams and let me see you. I have work I still need to finish. I always seem behind now. At times I have no I idea where I put stuff. Stuff, I don't even care anymore - sometimes. I know I should not be feeling like that so I keep trying.
Carmen, please visit me tonight in my sleep. Be happy okay. I love you baby and miss you more than the air I breathe. love mom................