Looking Back

Sister,

Yeah, it's been awhile since I've called you that. Well, your brother is here from Korea. I sure did miss him. As nice as it is to have him here, you are still missing and missed. I received word of the upcoming court date for your murder trial. How is it that you want something to get done and over with and at the same time you don't want to even address it?

I still have not learned how to deal with your death, doubt I ever will. How is someone supposed to continue living when they just keep looking back? There is very little in life I'd thought of redoing, until you were taken from me. Now, it seems I am always looking back. Back to the good times and times that weren't so good. Times I wish I could redo.

Since your death, I have never been so lost and like I'm wandering aimlessly. having faith and at the same time not believing. Currently, I feel like I just exist and sometimes like I don't exist at all.

You fill such an important part in my life; hell you are such an important part of my life. And just as you are so is your brother.

Carmen, I love and miss you, always........Mom